A penny for your thoughts.

You are practically reading my diary, so yeah, we're friends now. The name's Felicia Sutandijo, call me Feli. Nice to meet ya.

29
08

2024

If I was hardened by the world, let that be so that I can shield the ones who have not been hardened.

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02
07

2024

You don’t have to worry about being unattractive to some people. You do, however, should start worrying when you attract people you dislike, or worse, abusive people. I think that serves as a better guidance on how you ought to create your persona.

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29
06

2024

If you can’t avoid it, embrace it.

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28
06

2024

Approach your flaws with curiosity rather than judgement.

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23
06

2024

Do yourself a favour and stop pretending that you like the things society says you should like. I want to see you care deeply about the things that resonate with you. People around you might try to say that it’s useless, but believe me, there’s a group of people out there who cares just as much as you do about this one specific thing that’s been a constant presence in your heart.

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23
06

2024

Darling, the world is big, and the world needs you. However useless you think your interests and skills are, believe me, the world wants it. However boring or unconventional your hobbies are, there’s someone out there putting as much love into them as you do.

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22
06

2024

There are some things in life you naturally struggle with. Sometimes, you work on “fixing” it, and it may appear to other people that you’ve succeeded, but you know deep down that it’s not the same. You can feel how other people do it so effortlessly, and you start to question yourself, “Are my efforts enough? Am I just being lazy?” But love, you’re a human. It’s only natural that you’re good at some things and bad at others. Sometimes, it’s not even about you. It might be about how your environment isn’t exactly suitable to support you in the task. Being able to do the thing while spending way too much energy isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I understand how people tell you that you need to put in effort, and I agree, but there are some things you’re just not that good at, and I think just polishing them enough to not hurt other people is enough. You don’t have to excel. Instead, focus on things you’re naturally good at and watch yourself shine, not because of your mastery either, but because doing them resonates with your soul, and you feel alive.

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19
06

2024

Stop taking the shortcuts in life. It’s not worth it. For once, really think for yourself and live your life. For once, wake up and decide what you want in life. Think about how your actions will create waves and small changes, then big ones. Think about what you care about. Stop making everything about money and for stars’ sake actually think of life as life.

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10
06

2024

The more I grow up, the more nuance I notice in life. Just a few moments ago, it occurred to me that people say perseverance is a good trait to have, but it’s not really that simple. Perseverance in a sense of not giving up until you master an intended skill may be good, but perseverance in trying a failed method again and again is stupidity. Perseverance in staying at the job you hate because you cannot handle being ridiculed is cowardice. Perseverance in staying at the job you hate because you need to feed your family and taking a career break means starving is admirable. It’s important not to fall into simple black-and-white categories and always evaluate the situation.

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26
05

2024

Encounters with some kind and wise elders always leave me feeling a sense of wonder. Will I grow into such a person? Will some kid, some day, look at me and be thrilled to grow up just as I did?

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23
05

2024

Actually, is the world really that bad? Or do you think that way because the media tells you so? Take a second and think about it, really. Have you met more bad people than good ones in your life? Does everyone want to sabotage you? Is everyone selfish? Are humans inherently bad?

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02
05

2024

Be kind, be kind. People are struggling, and no, it’s not always their fault. You’re doing alright right now, but God knows one bad move can throw you down. The goal’s to elevate each other, not destroy each other to rise higher.

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19
04

2024

Work on eliminating actions driven by unreasonable fear, guilt, or shame. I know it’s hard, but I assure you, it will make your life hundreds of times better.

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10
04

2024

Too many people are trapped in other people’s dream.

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22
01

2024

I want to create a world where children are not afraid of growing up.

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02
09

2023

When you travel, you meet a lot of people. Among them, you inevitably meet a handful of good people. Warm people, kindhearted people, strong people. People who smile at kids, and people who would listen to a foreign customer service just so they could translate it for you. And you realise that the world is big, and that people aren’t all bad. And you pick up the parts of these characters you admire, and one day, without realising it, you become the one who would convince people that the world is a place worth living in.

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14
05

2023

A big part of being happy is looking forward to things.

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22
04

2023

The key is to not be afraid. Do not be afraid to say yes, but also do not be afraid to say no. It doesn’t mean that you have to say yes more often, or no more often. It means that you have to say yes when you want to, and you have to say no when you think it’s what you should do.

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08
04

2023

How can you not fall in love? With life! All the things we humans have done, all the expressions and feelings and stories. All the works and ambitions. The individuality and the togetherness. Look around you, count the smiles, count the laughter, count the love. All of them so dazzling they make me dizzy. Spot the heritages passed down from people thousands of years ago. They lived, we live, and others will live. Every one of us intertwined and precious. Every one of us trying our best, through love and grief. Every one of us with our own stories.

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26
03

2023

I really wish that my words can touch someone’s heart, and instill in them the sense of wonders of life.

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21
03

2023

I love life. I love life because someone else taught me how to love life.

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18
03

2023

Creative people, when they were very, very young, even in elementary school, in a lot of cases, fell in love with a future image of themselves. That seems to be the key - fall in love with a future image of yourself, and put your heart, soul, and mind into making that a reality.” - E. Paul Torrance

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29
09

2022

I don’t think you have to be selfless to do good things. It is perfectly fine to do good things just because you want to, or because it is something you like to do, or because you want people to remember you. I think it is possible to be as selfish as being good.

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29
07

2021

Why are you so hell-bent on looking for opportunities? Let me tell you a secret. Opportunities are like moths, they are everywhere. You might stumble across them, but that only means you are lucky. But have you never thought about how moths are drawn to a light source? So then, darling, be a light source, and they will crowd around you. Spend time on yourself; passionately and persistently improve yourself. Let yourself shine brighter and you'll attract more. Then you will have the luxury of picking the ones most to your liking. Occasionally, you will have to travel to reach some rare, dazzling moths. But at all times, keep your light bright.

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30
04

2021

There are two main things driving a human being: fear and passion. Those who are driven by fear avoid loses, yet they never win. However, those who are driven by passion are neither winning nor losing; they are living.

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13
03

2021

It feels better choosing to love fiercely when I know that I can hate just as passionately. Otherwise, it'd feel like I am only a victim of the people who want me docile.

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12
02

2021

Because one day you'll realise that you no longer remember the conversations, but you could still recall the feelings.

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28
12

2020

I don't think that you could ever spoil a child with experience. You could spoil him with expensive gifts, but taking him to a fancy theme park would only leave memories; memories which might later remind him that life could be so much fun, even when he faces challenges.

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21
11

2020

She drank the moonlight like it was her morning coffee, and the look on her eyes were made of stars.

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21
11

2020

Living is an art. The way you move, the way you speak, the way you look at things; they simply paint a picture of you.

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21
11

2020

But, love, why chase dreams? Let me tell you a secret. Dreams are like flighty white rabbits across a vast grassland. The harder you try to catch them, the faster they run to escape. But be gentle, be patient, coax them, and they will come to you.

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15
10

2020

There would always be exceptions to theories; anomalies in the stitches of nature. There would be people who don't seem to fit in, yet they belong. And if you are one of them, I should tell you that you are the one who colours the universe.

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31
08

2020

I'm not worried about failure because I don't stake my identity on success.

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11
08

2020

If you view the world as black and white, you can't help but miss the rainbows.

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16
07

2020

Never love one person for the purpose of being loved back, but love them simply because you understand their beauty and you acknowledged them.

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16
06

2020

Words that weigh the most are never supposed to be said lightly.

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16
06

2020

The moment you realise that other people also have emotions as human beings and that you are meant to care about them as another human being is the moment you have grown up.

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07
04

2020

I'll act as the salesperson of life and hopefully, I would be able to convince you to live. You, and all other people in this world.

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01
01

2020

Look inside my mind. It's a mess. I think of life and death as if they are one same thing. Life saddens me from time to time, and death delights me every other time. Yet it also works the other way around.

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01
01

2020

Gently blowing at my frozen fingertips to warm them up, I wondered if someone would do the same to my ice-cold heart.

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08
09

2019

Stop. Stop hiding behind words you don't believe. Stop being a living quotation. Speak up, love. Let me hear your voice, be it a whisper, a shout, or a roar. Let me hear the words you have been too afraid to say.

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06
07

2018

I really do think that we're fine just as we are.

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03
07

2018

It's because of our flaws that we rely on each other Because if we all have everything, then what's the point of talking to each other? If that's the case then humanity is as good as dead

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08
06

2018

Rights and wrongs are just illusions of what people want from you, so that you can be pleasant for them. What do you want?

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22
05

2018

Maybe the end of the world wouldn't be such a bad thing. If it finally happens when I'm still alive, maybe I'd thank it. Because in the days leading to this horrid event, maybe, maybe humans can relearn what 'humanity' means. And so, the world would end with such a beautiful, yet somehow sad, ending.

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29
03

2018

I know I can’t love. I know that I can’t ever love, or have any genuine feelings. It’s not that I don’t want to. I want it so, so bad. But I can’t, alright? It’s the way I am and I have no power to change it. But I try to pretend that I love you, that I care for you. Even though these feelings are fake and only last a few seconds, but you believed my words. And you actually fell for my traps. You felt that you are loved, that you are needed, and that you are worth fighting for. You are happy. I noticed that you smile more often, laughed more freely. So now I ask you, is it a sin, if I could only give you this faux love? Should I stay, or should I just go with these words, before I vanish without any warning?

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14
02

2018

‘Sorry’ is for what you did wrong, not for being who you are.

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21
01

2018

Things become true when you believe they are.

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20
01

2018

‘Earth’ is a name for many worlds.

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27
12

2017

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive. - Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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17
11

2017

I might have forgotten my name, but I’ll always remember yours.

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03
11

2017

Sometimes, it’s not the facts that are important, but what people think is the fact. But you know what? Just how many billions of people out there? Just how many different minds? And that’s why this world is so messed up, because people take no time to listen, to understand, and to open up.

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11
10

2017

The day might come when I can’t remember your name anymore, but at the bottom of my heart, I’ll always, always love you.

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09
07

2017

Ever wondered if you are loved or hated? Well, I tell you now, I love you.

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29
06

2017

An adult may think and doubt, but a child believes what he’s been told.

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20
06

2017

Change yourself according to who you want to be, not who the world wants you to be.

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27
02

2017

Look. You’ve come this far, and you want to give up now? C’mon, just a little more. I know your eyes are blindfolded, but trust me. The finish line’s just over there.

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17
12

2016

Hey, how much your life’s worth isn’t up to them. It’s actually up to you. Think about it. You get to decide how much your own life’s worth.

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16
12

2016

There are prices to pay and prizes to gain. But then, there are discounts too.

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09
11

2016

I do believe that the stories in books can come true. After all, what else can they be based on, if not the truth?

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02
06

2016

Why is it that people are always saying, to the people we loved who have died. Why does no one say to the cat we love except me?

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24
05

2016

It is true that one day can alter your life forever, but who knows that that day is today?

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17
02

2016

Love isn't blind. It just refuses to see what's ugly. It sees and cherishes what's beautiful. If love is blind, you'll love with half the reasons you have now.

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18
11

2015

It's not what it is that makes it special, but how you see it.

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18
11

2015

Go on with life and you will find something worth living.

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That's all for now, thank you for coming. Come back later, I'll bake cookies and lay out more thoughts.